


winter, summer, and everything inbetween

by melliesgrant



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, Sad sad sad, inspired by a quote prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 21:50:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12920949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melliesgrant/pseuds/melliesgrant
Summary: stanley uris can't handle the idea of love, so he pushes it away





	winter, summer, and everything inbetween

stanley uris’ relationship with richie tozier could be described as  _tumultuous_. the two boys are best friends, always have been and always will be, yet they are tumultuous all the same.

it’s a problem of differences in character, stan was quiet and ocd, richie was loud and out of control. everything about them opposed each other, every personality trait cancelling the other out, they were two magnets that didn’t stick but desperately wanted to.

that was the relationship between stan uris and richie tozier, one where he was primarily annoyed, and thankful for at the same time. 

it’s one of those friendships you unintentionally take for granted, the type where you don’t realize what you have until it’s too late.

because richie pisses stan off, he curses too much and he never takes anything seriously and he never listens to stan. 

he hates his best friend and he loves him, but he only shows the former and sometimes he regrets it. 

he sees the way richie’s face drops when he says ‘beep beep’ in a particularly harsh tone, he sees his smile disappear when he rolls his eyes at his jokes, and he desperately wants to tell him he’s sorry but he’s a bit too prideful to do that and break the view everyone has on them that has gone on for so long.

so he keeps it going, he rolls his eyes to his face and bites his lip behind his back, and he loves richie tozier even if he’s winter and richie is summer and they are bound to destroy each other in some way.

at least that’s what stan tells himself, that boys like richie with burning skin and burning lips would kill a boy like stan, with frostbitten skin and lips that are cool to the touch. winter and autumn are meant to be and summer and spring are soulmates, because that’s how the world works and stan wants to follow the rules, even if the rules say he and richie shouldn’t be friends.

but he has to break that rule, because it’s richie tozier. 

richie tozier who went to his bar mitzvah when no one else did, richie tozier who slept over after stan saw a scary movie and needed comfort, richie tozier who promised stan he wouldn’t let henry bowers hurt him again without putting up a fight.

richie tozier who kept his promises, an admirable trait, especially when they walked home together with matching black eyes. 

richie tozier who was the summer sun, melting stanley uris’ winter heart.

stanley uris who is afraid of getting burnt, and hides from the sun when it gets too close, all at the cost of his own heart.

“stanley, are you okay?” richie asks in a rare moment of seriousness that stan thinks is only shown to him (please let that be true or my heart will break.)  


he knows richie knows something is wrong, he feels him drifting, his best friend leaving his side and flinching at his touch. richie knows stan, he knows him better than anyone else, he knows when he’s suffering. 

“i’m fine, richie.” stan smiles, and richie’s heart flutters at the sight and he’s so in love with his best friend and neither know it yet. 

stan hopes it’s convincing, because he’s never been much of an actor but needs richie to understand  _somehow_. he’s begging silently for richie to understand he isn’t fine but he shouldn’t push, because if he does stan will melt and be no more but a puddle under richie’s feet.

does richie not understand the power he has? the undeniable control over stan’s bleeding heart, the chain he has wrapped around him ensuring he never strays too far from the path of his love.

even when he annoys him, when he scares the birds away and talks about fucking the losers mothers, even when he rolls his eyes and hurts richie’s feelings, stan still loves him.

he has always loved him, loved him enough to accept his flaws and love them.

he loved him when he wore his boy scout uniform and he loves him now, with his hair longer and his clothes more refined, and his hands shaking after getting dirty.

“you’re worrying me, stanley. you seem mad at me, like you hate me.” richie pushes, he never knows when to stop, and stan wants to hold his face and cry and scream except he doesn’t know what he would say. that he loves him? that he hates him? that he never wants to see him again because if he does he’ll surely fall more in love with him to the point where he’ll break his own heart?  


he knows subtly pushing away his best friend isn’t the best option, but it seems to be the only one that can force the sun from melting his snow white skin to the desert sand.

so he pushed, he grew annoyed by everything richie did and forced himself to hate his best friend.

they were too different, and stan was tired of being burnt by richie’s hot tongue, a ray on the sun that was richard tozier.

he forced himself to think of only the negative in richie. how he hated the crude nature of his jokes, how he constantly went too far, how he was always so dirty and gross and so disrespectful. he wasn’t even funny most of the time, and the only reaction stan ever gave was one screaming annoyance. 

richie saw it and felt hopeless against it, unsure what he had done to stanley and what he could do to fix it, and as he felt his best friend drifting from him his warm summer heart began to lose it’s heat and melt him from the inside out until he was no more.

stan tried not to see richie struggling, trying to make him laugh and get their friendship back on the road that was heartbreak in disguise, but stan had his hand on the steering wheel and he dropped richie off long ago.

stan was driving his own car now, on the road with birds and audio books and snow falling at every corner. he was on the road of his dreams, unaware of the dead end that would leave him trapped forever, because dreams are just illusions to hide you from real life, and you can’t live your entire life in a dream.

he tries nonetheless, because he can live the rest of his life at that dead end, he doesn’t mind. 

and richie is stuck there, on that fork in the road where stan dumped him, because he wants to follow fate into the land of winter’s heart but he can’t do that without stan. 

he can’t be in love without the boy he’s meant to be with.

they’re both at dead ends because of each other, too stupid to find their way back home.

“so stan, i told her that i’d only chainsmoke if she sang every chainsmokers song perfectly, and this bitch was so drunk she actually tried to.” richie spoke after inviting himself to walk stan home, something stan would have loved, before his forced hatred on the boy grew.  


“don’t call women bitches, richie.” his voice was a forced monotone, trying to give richie the hint that he wanted him  _gone_ (he didn’t, not for the reason he was trying to convince himself of, because he was annoying as hell but he needed him gone because he couldn’t go back to loving him so hopelessly and haplessly).  


“i mean it as a term of  _endearment_ , not in a bad way.” richie rolled his eyes, he too was growing annoyed with stan, primarily due to how cold he was being.  


“it’s misogynistic, whether you mean it to be or not, so stop.” stan’s voice was hard, not truly passionate on the subject but using it as a way to allow his pent up rage at richie slowly ooze out.  


“well sorry, stan. can’t you relax for once, cause you’ve been a real fucking dick lately.” his annoyance got the better of him, not to mention the annoyance in stan’s voice raising his own.  


isn’t it funny that two people can love each other with their entire being, and hate each other with their entire soul?

almost as funny as two people loving each other and fighting instead.

these predicaments fit both the puzzle of stanley uris and richie tozier.

“well if i’m being sch a fucking dick then why are you still hanging around me?” stan’s voice raised as he posed the question, hoping the tears he felt forming weren’t easily seen to richie, he had to stay strong right now. he couldn’t let his tears fall down his face, reveal his true emotions, freeze on his face as a permanent reminder of his regret.  


“i have no  _fucking_ idea.” and with that richie walked away, hands balled into fists and his face growing red from rage, his lengthy limbs moving him quickly away from stanley. god, he hated stanley so much, he hated him for making him feel so good and ripping it away from him so quickly.  


he hated him for making him love him and hate him at the same time.

he hated him for pushing him away, right when he was getting used to the cold. 

and then there was stan, stan with tears running down his face, now red and irritated from rubbing the tears off violently with his jacket. he wants it gone, the symbol of his heart breaking playing on his face, he wants to forget it all. he wants to write about the birds he sees that day and go home and read robert frost and sylvia plath. he wants to go on with his life, but he can’t.

because his normal life typically doesn’t consist of him sitting on the floor with his face in his knees as he tries to muffle his sobs, because he got what he wanted and he made a home at that dead end of the street, and he’s just realizing that he’s trapped there forever.

he’s trapped in a winter wonderland of his own making, a house he built on his own, a plan he created perfectly. he created heaven and shifted it to hell, he turned utopia to his own personal dystopia and there’s no escaping, and there’s no one to blame but himself. 

and it isn’t really a dream, because even winter needs summer sometimes to keep him warm, but now the sun is gone and winter is forever.

and stanley never realized that the cold can burn you too until now.

he was wrong all along, thinking summer and spring stuck together, because it was winter and summer that were soulmates. the opposing sides mixed to one, keeping it perfect, keeping you from being burned.

he took that long road for granted, took advantage of the sun on his face and begged for snow.

that was richie tozier, someone you took for granted until you saw him walking away from you with a silent promise that he wouldn’t turn back.

richie tozier was the summer sun that made you sweat and curse the being that placed the sun in the sky and didn’t realize how great it was until winter came and your nose is red and you think you’re going to freeze.

richie tozier was the heat in your bed on a winter night that made you drool because you were so comfortable.

richie tozier was the summer heat you wanted so desperately when you were cold in winter, but hated when it was there.

richie tozier was a season filled with hope and ending in regret.

stan uris knew this all when he pushed him away, but he didn’t realize it fully until he was home and cold and he remembered his warmest sweater was richie’s.

and stanley uris really did love his best friend, at least he loved him in the way you don’t know until you lose him.

but hey, he got what he wanted right? who was he to complain?


End file.
